It is strange, we sit around waiting for the world to listen to us without speaking. How can the world respond if we do not make our notions public? We sit around waiting for the world to discover us, and since the world doesn’t bother to proactively listen to our mute voices we feel rejected. This is one of the most beautiful improvisations of futility ever mastered. Here we are world, waiting for you to listen to us, we wont speak until you acknowledge us; we wait for the audience to quiet down before we will speak, only they will not quiet down unless we speak and interrupt their clatter. We must make ourselves felt, else the world will not give us a standing ovation! Come scream with me says the world, and if you are screaming I will listen to you, but if you are just standing by, standing by, then wait for the silent period to end, only there is no silent period, the world screams all the time. All the time.
I come into the world hesitant, only the world does not hesitate, the world moves on, I am part of its master plan, only if I don’t execute the world will just alter its master plan to meet its intended reality. I count but if I don’t speak up the world will just assume that I am not immediately important enough to take into account in the master plan. But what is this thing about speaking out? Does it mean that I have to tell the world where it is going and why? Not at all, the world merely wants to hear that I exist and how I exist and why I exist and what have I come to give it or surrender to it. The world does not sit and wait for me to make the decision, if I come into the world and remain silent or if I am intimidated by its underpinnings where I refuse to speak up my cause and my deliverable fortunes, then the world will demand them from me, the world will ask of me what I have to deliver, the world will coerce me to surrender what it needs if it cant figure out what it is that I have to offer. And the coercion will not be pleasing for one very simple fact, what the world demands from me is not what I have to give the world, the world does not know what it needs, it knows only what it craves, and this is not the same thing as what I have to offer; the dissidence can be so great and nice and astronomical that it can only collude to destroy me because I am not apart of the world that is demanding things from me, that world does not exist because of what it demands, it exist because of what it is given by me, when I do not surrender my self essence to the world what the world steals from me can only leave it wanting! Shy away from the formality that demands can acquire what they desire, they cant they wont, the only thing that can be taken whole is what is given; when the world takes from me what it takes is a bungled up part of my whole that wont make any sense for centuries; where I can assist the choice, where I can help existence is in the introduction of my self essence into the world, by calling out my tributes and allowing a benefit to be harvested by all. Only I can not accomplish this unless I am wholly capable of surrendering myself to the world. And the surrender allows me to be whole, only I fear the surrender, this is the paradox, I can not equinox with myself essence in this here and now, unless I come to grips with the idea that I must give all of myself to this suspect world; in order to accomplish this I must come to the conclusion that I too am suspect, and that I am not here of a complete understanding enough to refuse to surrender; I am here, that is the only license that I can confirm to surrender everything, and I must surrender everything that I am because there is no other way to measure the exhaustion of my resources and capabilities; I must and will unleash myself upon the world, let the world interpret me as it will, let the world turn what I have to offer into moral or immoral offerings, the only thing I am apt and capable of, is to unleash my self essence into the world, what comes of it is not for me to judge, if I fragment the world then the world needs to rearrange itself; the alternative, were I, I, this soul and spirit that I am, able to govern myself, then I would restrained myself, but I am not for self governance, nor is it possible to govern the entity of self, self explodes into the world; many selves attempt to govern themselves, because they listen to the external world which calls upon them for self restrain, only self restrain is not something that the I, the I, that I am, can call upon, I must explode into all that I am, self restrain can only hinder and damage my expression or any expression in the universe. I explode, this is what I am; handle it world!!
